jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
