So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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