The beer is more important than you right now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize