They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
