8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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