Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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