our cab driver is having phone sex.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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