Christians are straight up FREAKS
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
