I seem to have left my pride at pride
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
