i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
