Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
