pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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