u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
they're like a gay fantastic four
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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