I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
