Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
