We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
birth control should be required to get into college
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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