You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
