I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
