"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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