Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
