I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
