remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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