shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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