Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
