you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
