OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
