ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just had sex on a roof
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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