I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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