Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
