hotel room ftw
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
