I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize