You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
