another moral hangover. fuck.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
