Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
