oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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