weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
