I wish they made helmets for livers.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
