My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
