better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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