i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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