You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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