meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
