I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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