you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
