forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
