Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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