i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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