Yo dont text me then not text me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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