you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
