Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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