i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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