so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
