god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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