Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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