So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize