Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
