I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
