ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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