So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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