did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize