haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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