I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
