The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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